We are trying to find out what it is that you are interested in and why you are doing it. Because 'why' much of the time will establish what actually is the nature.
Pretentious is that the living entity thinks he is God and separate from Kṛṣṇa. Because if we don’t do devotional service, what is left for us? Illusion, staying in the material world, being God. That is more pretentious.
Pure devotee starts from a madhyama. Madhyama is a pure devotee. We will say 'pure devotee' and then put it way off in the distance. No, pure devotional service can be performed from niṣṭhā.
Friend means when things are good you are friend and when things are bad you are a friend. If you are only a friend when things are good you are not actually a very good friend.
People that don't trust, it's easy, it's not rocket science, they didn't have someone there. If someone has authority issues, then it goes back, they didn't have anyone there.
When you are working within the Kali-yuga, you are working within the Ācārya system, where there is a Founder-Ācārya. So that person is the Paramahaṁsa because they know perfectly what to do in this age. And knowing what to do then everybody else follows them. Relevant instruction means, the Ācārya
Question: The junior is out there doing service, and by doing the service they get more realisation than the senior person administratinge people, and then you run into conflicts...
Whether the person is respected or not, at the end of the day your problems still remain, believe it or not. If another person who is having problems is removed from the scene, still you remain and your problems still remain, it doesn't actually change anything.