Prabhu: So the question is a little bit delicate. I have a friend who is attracted to his own gender, and how can the Vedic culture help such a person, or what's the position of Vedic culture in this aspect?

HH BVPS Maharaja: The point is is, you are trying to connect the soul with God, so the process of chanting Hare Krishna, taking prasada, rendering service, then that applies for anyone. Because we are trying to purify the heart of all material desire. Does that make sense? So it doesn't matter what material desire is starting from, all of them have to go anyway. Does that make sense? It's just like you take a boy, he is attracted by every girl on the planet. But in reality, it doesn't work like that, that's got to go. So material attraction has to be removed, so that we can establish spiritual attraction. Does that make sense? So the process is the same, but just generally... Yeah, process is the same.

Prabhu: So the person is a devotee who practices Krishna consciousness, and he would like to know how to deal with this situation from the practical point of view?

HH BVPS Maharaja: Means, you chant and render service, but you would, generally you would remain as a congregational devotee, it's a better situation. Is that what you mean by practical, or what do you mean by practical? [Laughter]

Prabhu: Yeah, this kind-of things, so whether he should live alone or with whom should he live? And things like that.

HH BVPS Maharaja: He'll have the best, be able to move forward the best if they are celibate, so therefore whatever situation encourages that, then that will be better. Does that make sense? In other words, that might be the situation, they deal with it, but you don't make it into something special and make a movie out of it. You know what I am saying? So being in the material world is wrong, so no situation in the material world then they should champion and try to make it special. You know what I am saying? In other words, what they do in their spare time is their business, we don't wanna hear about it. You know what I am saying?

Just like, wouldn't you think it's strange if a bunch of tough guys get together and they get out with flap cards that say, "We are into girls"? You know, and they march down the street, and they have their girls there in their bikinis, and then on all the major squares of the city then they start kissing their girls. And then they chant, "Heterosexuals rock!"

Translator: Heterosexuals rock?

HH BVPS Maharaja: [Laughter] Yeah, they are the best! You'd think it's strange. So why wouldn't it be strange if you did that with any other propensity? You know what I am saying? So therefore each individual deals with their own problems by connecting it to Krishna and going back to Godhead. You know what I am saying? So it's not that it's okay, it's that but we deal with it. You know what I am saying?

You have some guy, every girl that walks into the temple he is attracted to, it's not right, but we deal with it. So if you take that attitude, you can be humble, then your spiritual practice will have effect.

Prabhu: So we don't have to endeavor to get a wife for him, for such a person?

HH BVPS Maharaja: Why bother? Right? You know what I am saying? Attachment to sexual activities keeps you in the material world. The point is to give it up, not transfer it. And you are thinking about him. What about the lady? You know, maybe if they are both gay, then, hey, then... [Laughter] Then you will have the most strictly following of the regulative principles of any couple. [Laughter] Then it could work. Is that okay?

Mataji: So in connection with the same situation, that there is a gay man, who is a devotee, and so he is in-between two situations, because if he spends lot of time with his lady friends, the matajis, they are told that they spend too much time with a prabhu, if he spends time with men or with prabhus, then they say that why should you spend time with gays? And so, what is a better situation for him, to spend more time with men in order to strengthen his male identity, or his male side, or...? What's your suggestion?

HH BVPS Maharaja: Sounds like a very touchy... Let's mention something, you come to your own conclusion. Now, they are saying the women are spending too much time with the man, because it's not good if the women spend the time with the man. Right? But in the women's mind this is not a man. Right? The women have no fear, they can be completely relaxed around the gay men, because it's like being with another woman. But the gay, when you have a gay man with women, he always likes to play the part of being the man. But it's really more of a drama. You know, they like to open the door for the lady, or pull out the chair when they sit down, open the door of the car, so it's done to the extreme. So the ladies in no way are getting association of a man. And the tendency probably would be is that the gay men would listen more to what the women say, because the perspective is more similar. You know what I am saying? So it's not going to make his feminine nature more, and it's not going to make, it's not going to compromise their feminine position, being with, interacting with another man. You know what I am saying?

If he is celibate, then the other men don't have to worry, but if he is not celibate, then the men are the ones that have to be a little bit more careful. He is actually in a safer environment with the women. So therefore whether they are celibate or not, it's not gonna make any difference. And the women will be able to give nice suggestions on how to engage their aesthetic nature in Krishna's service. You know what I am saying? The men aren't gonna care about his new T-shirt or new shoes, while the women will. And that's as far as we go. [Laughter]

(From His Holiness Bhaktividya Purna Swami Maharaja's Man Woman Interaction Seminar, Lecture #18, Eger, Hungary, 8th August 2007)

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  1. Nitay

    Hare Krishna. Couple is couple of gays or gay and his wife?

    1. Nitay

      “ Then you will have the most strictly following of the regulative principles of any couple”

    2. BVPS Website Admin

      Hare Krishna Prabhu, in this particular quote Maharaja is saying that if you married a lesbian woman and a gay man then they would be most strictly following regulative principles because they would not be attracted to each other. However, he is saying it more as a joke because before that, in reply to the devotee’s question he first of all says that such a marriage is not recommended.