Question: Why women need protection on all levels? Why do they need to develop those qualities, chastity and satisfaction? How are those two connected?
HH BVPS Maharaja: Okay, the element is that because the feminine nature represents the, or has the qualities of, variety, so that aspect of variety then is going to mean that there will be a need for expressing that variety. And so then you have what’s appropriate to do and what’s not appropriate to do. But how do you stay within what’s appropriate? That’s what the aspect of protection is. Because otherwise then, to create variety, one may go into inappropriate areas.
To create variety, one may go into inappropriate areas.
Because it’s just like we say, it’s like the masculine nature, then if they like something they can do that every day like forever. If they like a particular food, they can eat it every day. Like I know one devotee, he, at least at that time, he would eat spaghetti every day, except Ekadasis because he couldn’t. And then somehow or another he was at another devotee’s place, and it was Ekadasi, and he happened to have these buckwheat spaghetti. And they cooked that. And he was in ecstasy because then he said, ‘Now I can eat it every day! I don’t have to…’ Because otherwise, it was, you know, how you say? What is it? Twenty-four Ekadasis, twenty-four days, so basically, one month a year he can’t eat spaghetti, but now he can! He was like, he was like… Yeah, so… I am not sure… His wife wasn’t there, so we didn’t get to see like the look on her face. [Laughter] ‘Oh, no…’
Yeah, so therefore, then if something is right, they will stick within it because that’s just what should be done, they are comfortable with it, they have adjusted with it. For the feminine nature, even if they like something so much, they will never deal with it more than a couple of days and then they’ll move on. Even if that’s the best preparation they like, they won’t eat it for a longer time. So sometimes the more special it is, the longer distance between it that they will make, just to keep it special. Because otherwise, if you eat it regularly, it’s not special. Right? Yes.
So then that whole point is is that how do you keep them from, going according to the need of variety, how do you keep them from going outside of that? So that’s what then the protection is. So that’s why then the father is there, husband is there, son is there, someone is there that that masculine aspect of the stableness, that then it has some meaning. Just like variety has a meaning if there is a stability. It’s just like a flag is appreciated because it’s connected to a flagpole. If it’s just a flag on its own, then there is nothing special. And if the flag is flying through the air because there is the strong wind, then it’s not special. But if it’s on the pole and it’s flapping in the breeze and like that, and showing off its nice qualities of the flag, then it’s appreciated. Or, you see, even in the modern context, it’s totally just a modern thing, if there is… Let’s say you are having a black tie event. Right? Is the woman wearing black? No, she is wearing colors, whatever she wants, it just needs to be formal. But it’s whatever she wants. The man, he has got to be wearing the tuxedo and the tie and the this and that, and there is very little he can do with it. Maybe the lapels a little bit, or this shirt, whether it’s black on black, this or white, whatever he wants, like that, very minimal things like that. Why? Because it’s about the woman.
Protection of the woman means that it’s about the woman.
So the whole point is, protection of the woman means that it’s about the woman. See, most of the time it’s thought that protection of women means, then they are restricted. No, means that the facility is given to express, but within a context that it will not be harmful. So that’s the whole point, protection means that the environment is done, so that the variety that’s there that’s useful. But the variety what’s going to be picked, what’s going to be manifest at any time, that’s up to the woman. So that’s the difficulty, is that we will take it that it’s one or the other. ‘No, they are completely free to do whatever they like,’ but then they’ll end up doing things they wish they hadn’t. It’s just like, what do you call it? There is probably, if you check in history, a lot of girls that became pregnant in the back of the ’57 Chevy then would not necessarily think that that was the best option, after the fact. Right? But, you know, hey. So that’s the thing, is that to be, to avoid these things, therefore the area is given. But it’s still the woman’s choice where she is going to be within that field. You know, whether you are eating at home, you are going out to dinner, what are you eating for dinner, where are you going out, that’s all her choice. Now, whether she makes that directly known or not, that’s another thing. You know, whether she is going to say, ‘Oh, I would like to go here,’ or she is going to make you figure it out, that’s according to the variety of the taste, it’s still down to variety. If she said last time, this time she is not going to say. You know what I am saying? So then sometimes she may hint, sometimes, like this. So it’s just variety.
They need to be protected on all levels because otherwise then in the expression of variety it may get so far beyond what’s useful that it will be detrimental.
So that’s why then they need to be protected on all levels. Because otherwise then in the expression of variety it may get so far beyond what’s useful that it will be detrimental. So that’s the whole point, that’s why then one works under that. Then it also… And by doing that, it also means that it’s personal. Means, there is relationship and all that, so it takes on that quality. Because then it’s related to that person, so that’s why then that person you should have a good relationship with. That’s why then picking the husband, sons… And then according to the quality of the husband then you have sons, like this, so then it has that effect that you have a relationship doing that. So even if it’s you would rather do something else, you do this because of the relationship with them.
So nowadays these things go because they don’t have strong relationships, so therefore then, ‘Why the need of protection? I can take care of myself.’ Yeah, but, you know, man being alone in the house is not actually as much of a problem as woman alone in the house. Unless, unless of course you are 80 years old or above, then being alone in your house is not so bad because then you don’t have to go through all the trippiness of all the young girls and the mess that the boys make. It’s nice they come over for an hour or two, but not too long because then you have to always be smiling and that, you’d rather be grumpy, you are 80 years old! Who wants to be smiling? So, you know, so like that. But otherwise, if one is in earlier ages, then…
Chastity will allow for variety, but at the same time not insanity.
Okay, so, why do they need to develop those qualities, chastity and satisfaction? Because if the mind has some focus, then there is happiness, and if the mind is not focused, one is not happy. So if there is no chastity, means, there is not focus on any one thing. Like if you have too many options, you go nuts. If the options are less, then it is easier. So the chastity will allow for variety, but at the same time not insanity. And satisfaction being the same, is that if you are, it generates actual being comfortable. Because being happy is always attaining something you don’t have, that’s happiness. Happiness is getting those shoes you have already wanted, but once you have them, it’s not happiness any more, then it’s the next step, right? So happiness isn’t stable, so we see the whole thing is about stability. So the protection creates stability, chastity creates stability. Now, satisfaction also creates stability because what you have, you are satisfied with. Now, if you can also get that other pair of shoes, then you are adding happiness to satisfaction, that’s good. But if it’s happiness or nothing, that’s not good. So, there always has to be a foundation. Therefore protection is the foundation, and chastity is the foundation, satisfaction is the foundation. Does it make sense? So without the foundation, what’s the meaning of the nice house? I can do a house, deck it out, make it as beautiful as I want, vary it, move the couch around every week and stuff like that, change the curtains, change the rug, change the painting. The guy, you come back 20 years later, it’s the same thing, it won’t be changed, right? the lady will be constantly changing that, right? So therefore… But if there is no foundation, one, if there is no house, or the house is not on a foundation, how do you do that? So, it’s fun changing the curtains and the furniture and the arrangements in a house. But if there is no house, I just take all that stuff and put it out in the middle of the field, does it have the same quality? No, so that’s the whole point, so foundation is what you are trying to establish, then all the variety within that has meaning. Does that make sense? Okay.
Mataji: May I ask a question? So you were explaining how because it’s the woman’s nature to want variety, she needs the stability in order to kind-of stay focused and not get too off. And then also she has a tendency to not be satisfied…
HH BVPS Maharaja: Right.
Mataji: So therefore she has to cultivate satisfaction. That she is always wanting variety.
HH BVPS Maharaja: Right. Yes, yes.
Mataji: But it also seems to me that chastity is naturally the woman’s inclination, so…
HH BVPS Maharaja: It is because this position of protection, satisfaction, these are actually what they are looking for because the feminine nature springs from the mind, and the mind springs from, metaphysically, from the mode of goodness. So therefore things that are regular environment, a more known environment and all that kind of thing, is natural for the women, they like in certain things a regularity of their environment. What they do with the environment, that’s where the variety is. You know what I am saying? Because they’ll move around in things that they know, or occasionally they want to do something unknown, but it will be a known unknown thing.
Mataji: I am asking, why does she have to cultivate chastity if it’s already…
HH BVPS Maharaja: Because if she doesn’t then she’ll go nuts. Means, it’s a natural nature, but because of the ideas that the variety and tasting variety, she may try outside of chastity. Okay, chastity is there, but also what about not chastity? ‘You know, all those girls down at the end of the hall that don’t dress very well and all the sports jocks are after them, are they actually getting more out of life?’ And so, then they may doubt their position. You know what I am saying? So, in other words, seeing others do all kinds of crazy stuff, ‘Do I need to do that?’ So then it just keeps one into a position where you see that, ‘No, it’s that if I stay in the environment that I know and expand that environment naturally, step by step, no gap in-between, then it will be there.’ So the chastity then increases the relationship because the point is is, getting satisfaction in one place, then there might be the thought that ‘I could get more satisfaction by increasing that.’ Does it make sense? If you are with one guy and that’s nice, but being with two guys would be double that, or, you know, four guys would be quadruple of that, you know.
Mataji: So that natural inclination is there, but the different circumstances may cause them to…
HH BVPS Maharaja: Yes, the natural inclination is there, but the point is is it’s required. Just like, let’s say, control of the senses. That’s the thing, the match is the control of the senses for the boy and sensitive to the needs of other, so they all match. The point is, if she is chaste, she can be satisfied. Because if you are not chaste, you can’t be satisfied. Because then if you are not chaste, that means, anything goes, so that means, you want to taste everything, so therefore where can be the satisfaction? At the same time is that if he is sense-controlled then he can be sensitive to the needs of others. Because you see, those who are insensitive are generally totally self-centered and just can’t, they have to do what they want. Right? Now, that works within the species, now across the thing is, if he is sense-controlled, she will be chaste. If he is sensitive to her needs, she will be satisfied. Do you understand? So all these qualities, they interrelate with each other, so it makes the individual better, it makes the relationship and interaction better, so that’s why the Vedas give these four as essential points to be trained in. Like that. Is that okay? Jaya! Srila Prabhupada ki jaya!
(Transcription published with permission from a private recording of question asked from HH Bhaktividya Purna Maharaja, 30 November 2017, Sridham Mayapur)